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Lissa




Oct 31, 2011 ~ Paint my car? Your mother's a slut.

Hey! Devils Night! F#%k you! Woke up this morning to find my car covered in green paint. Adorable little vandals. Ya mischievous scamps…… And it wasn’t just my car - EVERY car on my street! Luckily it froze so I chipped it right off. Hope my neighbors can do the same. I don’t mean to make assumptions, but sommmmmething tells me the perpetrators might be that group of infinitely bored spray can wielding sidewalk dwellers who live on the corner of my block. They flip off old people for no reason and set fire to their own hair. They’re nimrods.

So yeah, I’m upset that this happened, but my BIGGEST annoyance is that someone could actually find this funny. I’m a pretty open-minded person when it comes to humor (I submit as evidence my heroin addicted mouse encounter), but I don’t get the punch line in covering another person’s car with paint.

Here’s my theory in regards to people who genuinely take pleasure in the pain or suffering of another person: they're scum. Teasing and joking are one thing, but once you cross that line into truly hurtful, you've relinquished your rights to fair and humane treatment from the rest of us.

There was this kid in my elementary school who used to pick on a girl with special needs, til one day she almost cried. So in front of everybody on the bus I pointed out that he had crooked yellow teeth and that his dad was an unemployed alcoholic. He acted shocked and hurt. He was like “I can’t believe you just said that!” Under normal circumstances, I would’ve felt bad. But I didn’t. I told him I could keep going (and I wanted to; his mom had three kids with three different guys – I’d been stockpiling slutty mom jokes since the first day this bunghole started teasing that other girl) but I held back. Thankfully he never bothered her again. Still, to this day I’m sure he hates my guts. Meh.

So if I find out who pulled this paint prank, I am SO going Count of Monte Cristo with my revenge!! I don’t know what I’ll do (oh who am I kidding - probably nothing), but it’s fun to imagine. Even MORE fun to finally have an excuse to sit on my porch all afternoon with a paintball gun. 

We knew this day would come….

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10/31/2011 9:53AM
Oct 31, 2011 ~ Paint my car? Your mother's a slut.
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11/01/2011 2:06AM
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