social twitter facebook google_plus

Lissa




Oct 17, 2011 ~ me & my hairy houseguest

It’s bad enough that in the last week I’ve seen a hypodermic needle, a broken gin bottle, and a used condom all on my sidewalk.  NOW….. I caught a MOUSE in my house! Ewwww!!! What if the mouse is responsible for all that crap on my sidewalk? What if I just caught myself a giant heroin addicted, drunken, slut mouse? If so - sweet. Problem solved.

I swear to God sometimes my neighborhood is a testing grounds for sociological experimentation. It’s like “how many ghetto stereotypes can we cram into a five block radius?” What’s a normal neighborhood? Ten or fifteen? If so, I think we can crack thirty! Yeah! We're number one!!

But now in addition to my enchanting human potpourri, I’ve got VERMIN! Yay!

I freaked out when I first saw this mouse Friday afternoon. I was supposed to be napping, but I couldn’t sleep knowing he was near me. I set four mouse traps and proceeded to lie there awake (with the covers carefully piled on top of me so they didn’t dangle off the bed) til I heard a *SNAP*!!

I ran over to check it. Sure enough, dead mouse. Happy Lissa. Kay. But then……ohhhhh then…..um….who’s gonna dispose of this thing? I texted my dad – “Daddy!!! I just killed a mouse in a snappy trap! When will you be over to collect him?”  Of course I was being foolish cuz my parents live in Michigan, and they’re obviously not driving to PA just so their nutjob daughter doesn’t hafta touch a mouse trap. But he texted right back “Ha – on my way”. Oooo. Smartass.

My mom texted a couple “Fred Bear” references (wouldn’t Nugent be proud?) and told me to just throw away the whole trap, mouse and all. So that’s what I did. I put on rubber gloves, used plastic tongs to pick the damn thing up, and threw it in the trash. Then I threw out the tongs AND the gloves and placed my trash immediately on the curb. I’m still having trouble sleeping in my house. Varmints gimme the heebie jeebies! I can’t shake the feeling that they’re setting up little villages in my walls. A whole colony of heroin addicted drunken slut mice. Ah well, at least they’re quieter than the human ones.

_____________________________________________________________________________________


Tags :  
Social :
People : Lissa




 
10/17/2011 10:40AM
Oct 17, 2011 ~ me & my hairy houseguest
Please Enter Your Comments Below
10/19/2011 7:29AM
Sidney
You pretty much said what i could not effectively communicate. +1 My site: rachat credit interdit bancaire ou rachat de credit ficp locataire
Title :
Comment :


advertise with us
Recent Blog Posts
Cutest Picture of the Year?
The Newest Shirt Style - Graffiti!
Celebrity Mean Tweets Are Back!
Katy Razzes Paparazzi
Just Face It, This is Funny
Music Video or Underwear Ad?
O, Canada, Thank You
Celebrities Stuck in Traffic
Categories
Archives