Dec 3, 2012 ~ I think John Travolta violated me
Never sure how to feel when you’re gone from work for four days, and when you come back there’s a Scientology recruitment packet on your desk…. Ummm…. What? Are we doing this now at KRZ? As part of our employee benefit plan – instead of 401K I get a full frontal lobotomy and Tom Cruise jumping outta the prize closet?
Turns out there’s no real reason for me getting this packet, other than the fact that (quoting their letter) I am an “influential humanitarian, deeply involved with the issues of broad concern in our society”…. Translation: not only do they want ME as a Scientologist, they want me to recruit YOU guys too! Eeee! Apparently I’m powerful enough to spur religious division??? Color me Moses.
I guess the Christian thing to do would be give these guys a chance. But I’m not that good a Christian. Can’t do it. Not even considering they gave me a full length, closed captioned DVD highlighting the selling points of their religion, which I’m sure would be hilaaaarious. But what if it’s Battlefield Earth, the extended version? Can’t risk it.
Sorry kids - if you were looking for me to lure you into a mind-numbing cult today, Lissy Lou disappoints. Unless you consider Sour Patch Kids a way of life, worthy of theological doctrine. Cuz I’ve had two bags of these little buggers already today and they’re close to becoming my all powerful overlords…. Come to think of it…. Sour Patch Kids kinda look like Tom Cruise….in candy form….
….and thus it begins.