The correct answer to each of the following questions is: “probably not”…… Should Lissa drink from Kyle’s magic flask before the Hinder show? Should Lissa eat nothing but a banana all day and expect to have the alcohol tolerance of a six foot male? Should Lissa EVER play “rock, paper, scissors” for shots? SMART response = “probably not”. Buuuuut, flashback to 8pm yesterday and apparently I thought all of the above were simply smashing ideas.
Croc Rock was balls to the wall for Hinder, drenched in sweat & rock and roll. Just the way I like it. Awesome show, crowd was insane, I was with fun people. Todd, Candi, Kyle, and I met Amanda & John before the show for some adult bevvies and that’s when it all began. I remember Amanda saying “Hey you should try these martinis! You can hardly taste the alcohol!” How right she was. Cut to three hours later and I’m stomach to stomach with a burly bouncer named Leroy comparing tattoos and yelling back & forth about how Aerosmith is going in the crapper now that Tyler’s on Idol. (BTW – Leroy, call me. I still have your “guns don’t kill people, I do” bandana.)
I’m trying to remember bits & pieces of our idiotic banter on the ride home - as much as I’d like to believe we were quoting Tolstoy and Emily Dickinson, I fear not. Unless Dickinson was abundantly more fond of the word “dude” than I recall.
We were almost back to Wilkes Barre when we broke down on the turnpike and ended up being rescued by Penn DOT…... Poor Todd. He was kind enough to be our designated driver and what did he get for his fun night out? A busted vehicle, a $70 cab ride, and a stern lecture from “Mitch” the Penn DOT guy. What did I get for MY fun night out? A lesson. In what to remember when you party in NEPA: never drink anything that comes out of Kyle’s jacket. Never say “Steven Tyler’s turning into a sissy mary” when talking to a 300 pound bouncer with an Aerosmith tattoo. And lastly, never play “rock, paper, scissors” with a chronic self-gratifier because they will ALWAYS have the unfair advantage (sorry Kyle - yes, I went there).
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