This text from a listener caused a lot of talk on the show this morning.
Hey Rocky & Lissa!
Thinking of moving in w/ my BF. But he keeps promising to marry me & it's been 5 yrs. I wanna say "no ring, no moving forward." Is that ultimatum TOO RISKY?
Remember the scene in "The Dark Knight" where The Joker gets interrogated? That's what I think of when I hear the word ULTIMATUM. It's the good cop/bad cop routine...but in this case it seems like there's only a bad cop! If you have to shine a light in your guy's eyes to get him to commit, maybe it wasn't meant to be.
Here's what our listeners had to say about issuing an ultimatum.
--I was with my husband for 7 years before we got married. I kind of gave up on waiting for him to pop the question and then it happened when I didn't expect it. If you love him don't give up on him. -Jess
--I think she should not give the ultimatum but she should stick it out for the three next holidays: Christmas New Years and Valentines Day. If no ring after that say goodbye and move on. You don't want to think did he do this himself or did i make him. -Crystal
--Agree w/the last caller that this relationship will never work but more because of their lack of ability to communicate w/each other. Does he know how important this is to her? Has she even expressed this to him? She needs to talk to the man she wants to marry instead of asking strangers for advice.
--I do not understand the lax attitude toward marriage by the woman that called in who had FIVE kids with the guy she finally married. Forget the "it's just a piece of paper" argument for a minute and think about it legally for a minute. God forbid she is inquired, in the hospital and unable to make a medical decision...he has no say. He's her baby daddy, that's it. Do the kids have his last name? If it's good enough for them why not her?
--If it was going to happen it would have happened? U can't force marriage or a man to marry you. But they should have been living together already? He's just stringing her along because no man likes to be alone but yet he's not being man enough to marry her? Get rid of him and move on. They're on two different pages.
--Ultimatums are ridiculous ! Just live your life. It's too short. Stop worrying about the small stuff. My god there's so many other things to worry about in life. Marriage should be the last.
--I just think they need to talk. If they don't both want the same thing then it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.
--She doesn't want to give him an ultimatum because even if he listens and proposes it will only be because he feels backed into a corner. In that case he would most likely just keep pushing off the wedding at that point.
--I've been withy husband 9 years and I'm tired of telling him how to make me happy if he can't do it on his own.
--I have been with my man 24 years. He promised to marry me years ago and still nothing. It's just a piece of paper.
--I told my boyfriend of 2 years that I wasn't happy with never getting married and he broke up with me.. because it wasn't what he wanted.. I would be careful with ultimatum.
--If she needs to give this man an ultimatum of we get married or we break up then that's the end of the relationship if you have to tell somebody to do something then you don't need to be with them isn't the point of dating to end in marriage I don't understand what the big problem is if you have to tell him you need something then just walk away
--Some men are scared and need that push.
--If he doesn't he want to lose her then he would make a commitment if he doesn't care then you just let her go.
I hosted a Big Brother day out at Maylath's Farm in Sugarloaf on Saturday. What a fun day! Maylath's is a family run farm nestled in the beautiful Conyngham Valley just 30 minutes from Wilkes-Barre. And the farm has everything you'd want for you & the kids to celebrate Fall:
*Corn Maze *Hay Ride
*Cow Train Ride
*Delicious Farm Fresh Cider
*The BEST Sweet Corn I ever tasted!
This is my cool little, Keeshaun from Pittston.
Can you guess which one of us has never been on a hayride?
The search is on for the Great Pumpkin.
We found it!
Pumpkin slingshot = awesome!!!
Big thanks to Chris Maylath and the rest of the staff at Maylath's Farm for a fun day.
And as always, if you really want to have an impact on a young kid like Keeshaun, volunteer to be a Big Brother or Big Sister today. There is a WAY TOO LONG list of kids waiting to be matched. In fact, 270 kids are still in need of a Big. That Big could be YOU!!!
"Every year someone comes out of this looking like a donkey!"
--Kevin Costner (Draft Day)
Today was DANCING WITH THE STARS DRAFT DAY on the morning show. We each got to pick 3 dancers. The first one to have all 3 of their dancers eliminated is the big loser and will feel the wrath of the other 2.
Who will be this year's donkey?
Freddie: Alfonso Ribeiro (Carlton from "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air")
Lissa: Bethany Mota (YouTube Beauty Guru)
Rock: Antonio Sabato Jr. ("General Hospital" hearthrob)
Freddie: Tommy Chong (Cheech & Chong, "Up In Smoke")
Lissa: Lolo Jones (Olympic Track & Field Star)
Rock: Janel Parrish (Mona on "Pretty Little Liars")
Freddie: Lea Thompson (Lorraine McFly in "Back to the Future")
Lissa: Sadie Robertson (Willie Robertson's 17 yr old daughter on "Duck Dynasty")
Rock: (Jonathan Bennett (Aaron Samuels from "Mean Girls")
Those are the picks. How do you think it will all shake out? Which one of us will be this season's BIG LOSER?
Another comedy voice was silenced today. But now, the more I think of it, Joan Rivers roared so loud, her words will live on forever. She was constantly pushing the envelope and was never afraid to say what was on her mind. Yeah, sometimes she pushed too hard. But that's what made Joan, Joan.
And without Joan Rivers, there would be no Roseanne...no Kathy Griffin...no Chelsea Handler...no Sarah Silverman...or any of the other great female comics that followed in her footsteps and tried roaring just as loud.
Here's a few of my fave lines that Joan leaves with us.
We're still laughing.
1--Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
2--My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
3--Half of all marriages end in divorce—and then there are the really unhappy ones.
4--I wish I had a twin so I could know what I look like without plastic surgery.
5--I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over he would have put diamonds on the floor.
6--I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
7--Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty.
8--The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.
9--I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer’s. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
10--I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
This week on GIRL TALK with Melissa from The Weekender we reflected on our 20's. What was the biggest thing you took with you from your 20's?
I learned how to be independent. After college, I moved to Ohio and lived in a small apartment on the first floor of a house. I thought this was the coolest thing ever. My own place! But I didn't know the first thing about cooking, cleaning, or keeping the place up and running. It was on the job training. And for me, the ultimate learning experience.
And I also learned how to drive a stick! :)
How about YOU?
Here's a few comments from listeners...
--I wish I had the knowledge in my 20's that I have now...but what I have learned is what is meant to be will ALWAYS find it's way & does not need to be forced.
--I didn't think that I had a look at price tags so in my 20s I had that same attitude so I was robbing Peter to pay Paul until one day they took my car so I went to my parents for help and for once my parents did not help me. They said "figure it out" and I did. I learned a really good lesson from that!
--In my 20s I learned that it's ok to be single. Worry about your goal because there is always time for a relationship.
--I'm only 24, and realizing just how real those college loans are at a few hundred $$$ a month on top of rent, gas, groceries, cell phone, etc. I have an elementary teaching degree and of course I'm still trying to get a permanent position.
--Don't loan money to friends!
--I learned to not compare my accomplishments to anyone else's. We all do things in our time. Who cares if all your friends are married, that doesn't mean they are all happy.
--I learned to talk things out instead of getting angry and letting things ruin my day. This has made every day happier!
--I learned that student loans are real, and not "so off in the future".
--I learned it's all downhill after 25 (I turn 47 next month)
--I learned not to base life decisions on a guy. I have 2 daughters and my hope is they learn from my experience.
--I had triple digits partners, thought it was cool then, but now not so much. Alot of women don't take me serious or won't give me the time of day because of how many women I've been with....they think I'm after one thing. So my lesson learned is, don't sleep around. Even though I was safe, its not cool. They remember.
--I learned the value of patience and taking my time with pretty much everything.
Friday I was issued the Ice Bucket Challenge by my friend Brian Coe of the Penguins.
It's a simple concept. Someone accepts the challenge, records themselves dumping a bucket of ice water over their head, then challenges 3 or more friends to do the same. If you are challenged, you have 24 hours. It's all about raising awareness for charity.
Ice Bucket Challenge
Get a bucket of water and fill it with ice.
Lift the bucket...
Dump the bucket...
Feel the chill...
Call out at least 3 of your friends to complete the challenge for themselves.
I issued the challenge to Lissa & Fast Freddie Friday afternoon. I'm still waiting...