I have flap pockets on my pants today and I just realized that one of the flaps has been cut with scissors. I have no idea when this happened. Or how it happened. These pants literally have not been out of my jurisdiction since I bought them a year ago. What the hell?
Now I'm looking at every person in the hallway today like "did YOU cut my pants?" When of course I know they didn't. I am completely animal crackers.
Stuff like this has a way of happening to me. A couple years ago, I was onstage with my band and I looked down and my microphone had a tiny Budweiser sticker on it. I have no idea how it got there. That microphone was literally never out of my hand unless I was packing it up with our equipment at the end of the night. Yet somehow……it got a Budweiser sticker on it. Hm.
I think somebody’s following me around doing random stuff to my possessions just to screw with me.
It's happened in my car too. A CD was in my car stereo the other day that I don't even remember owning! Aaaa! What is going ON?
WHOEVER YOU ARE - SHOW YOURSELF! Stop screwing with me!!! I can’t handle it.
OR…..perhaps…..I’m doing all this stuff myself and it's simply a direct result of putting my forehead against the microwave.
Yep, I think the transition into “crazy old lady” is gonna be a very smooth one for me.