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Posts from August 2013

August 30, 2013 ~ inbox smells like bad parents

Remember a simpler time? When Britney Spears still had her real hair, and no one knew the word “twerk”, and we didn’t realize Pepe Lepew was basically sexually assaulting that cat? I’m talking about childhood. Twas a blissful period for me because I had a vivid imagination and awesome parents. (I thought I was The Little Mermaid, they were just happy I was taking baths. It worked.)

But I got a message from a woman on facebook the other day, a mother, who made me sick to my stomach for another kid. Lemme explain: I don’t even know this woman (she claims to have met me at Backyard Alehouse two years ago…okay maybe) but she was trying to use her SICK KID to get Maroon 5 tickets! This was NOT part of a giveaway, not part of a KRZ thing, she just wanted ME to get them for her because her child is sick, thank you very much. Actually she didn’t even say thank you…

When I told her I couldn’t help her she swore at me and told me her daughter’s condition was gonna get worse. Because Lissa devastated her. I couldn’t believe it! My response:

“No – YOU devastated her. Why would you promise her something you don’t even know if you can get? And WHY didn’t you just buy tickets for her if it meant that much to her? So now you’re gonna make me feel like a jerk because I’m not a magic ticket genie?! Newsflash lady: concert tickets don’t cure cancer. And if I DID have two extra tickets I’d take your kid to the concert myself just so she could be away from YOUR soulless black heart for two hours.”

Then I facebook blocked her.

I don’t care if my response was harsh - people who use their kids like that make me sad/angry/infinitely sympathetic for the child. I can’t imagine. No one minds if you include a note about your child’s condition if you’re trying to win a giveaway or something, but to just pimp her out like that when you’re trying to randomly hit up a stranger? Not cool. On that note, I’d like to thank all the parents who rightfully DID win tickets for their kids, because you’re awesome for introducing the younger generation to the world of music! The Little Mermaid would be proud. Now I’m gonna say a quick prayer for that darling sick little girl that her mom stops being Ursula the Sea Witch.
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August 27, 2013 ~ thoughts on VMAs ..wait...MTV plays videos?

Ben Affleck should send Miley Cyrus a freaking thank you card for doing what she did Sunday night at the VMAs. Friday afternoon all anybody could talk about was how Affleck will make a worse Batman than Betty White, but by Sunday nobody hated him. Cuz we all had nightmares of Hannah Montana’s teddy bear dry humping. Miley Cyrus violently rubbing her asscheeks against Robin Thicke's groin really made me realize how much Robin Thicke looks like.... Billy Ray Cyrus. Ew.

And does anyone else notice how her fiance Liam Hemsworth comes with her to NONE OF THESE EVENTS. Now we know why.

Then, ya gotta love Taylor Swift using an AWARD ACCEPTANCE SPEECH to slam an ex. Only her. Cuz nothing tells somebody you're over them like talking about them all the fxxking time. Justin Timberlake is one talented dude. Loved his set. And N Sync didn't look a day older than their dads in 2003. Gaga, Bruno, Macklemore - you all blew me away. Lotsa talent there to counteract Miley’s stuffed animal molestation.

P.S. Did anybody else notice the same actress is in the Psychic Friends commercial AND the Monistat commercial? You’d think a good psychic would’ve known about that yeast infection.
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I’m starting to think I have some serious OCD issues. 
This week I was talking about my latest issue…parking at work.  I like to park in the same general area every morning.  Again, not in the exact same spot, I’m not that OCD!  Definitely not Jack Nicholson-As Good As it Gets OCD.  But yeah…I do like some order and routine in my life.
Lately Lissa has been disturbing that order! :)  She’s the first one to park in the morning and has the pick of the entire lot.  I cruise in half asleep right after her and use her car as a guide as to where to park…2nd spot over to her left.
This week she kept switching her spot.  Wednesday she parked so far to the left in our lot that when I lined up with her I was almost in our driveway.
Hey Liss:  Pick a spot and stay with it!
As I read this back, I’m starting to realize that I may have some OCD issues.
If you are a regular listener of the morning show you’ve heard a “few” of them:
--Can’t eat at buffets.
--Won’t start eating popcorn at movie theatre until credits finish.
--Never use the shower or toilet during a thunderstorm.
So are these silly little quirks or serious OCD concerns?

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